A Mom On A Mission – Reframing the “Mom Guilt” conversation

//Dress c/o JumpEatCry // Shoes c/o HeatWave c/o //  Similar Necklace // Stroller // Similar Diaper Bag

Three weeks ago, I had my first outing as a new mom. With the baby at home with Nani (grandma), I attended an event with Inc. Magazine celebrating fashion designers in Southeast Asia. Even though I planned well in advance to be away from home and made sure Baby Aadhav was well taken care of, I still felt pangs of guilt that I was leaving my little one. Since then, I’ve been out a few other times and still get the same feelings. Chatting with other moms, I realized that “Mom Guilt” is a very normal thing. While I understand that I have to start leaving the house (more than just to get my eyebrows done), it’s still hard for me to not feel guilty when I do. Over the weekend, I took my mom to Singapore’s Little India for sightseeing and yummy chaats (Indian appetizers). We all agreed it was best to leave the baby at home since Little India, right before the Diwali festivities, is extremely crowded. Over chole batura and chai, I shared with my mom how it’s been so emotionally tough to leave the baby. My mom assured me that my feelings are normal but then said something I didn’t expect. She told me I needed to reframe how I was thinking. Having raised my sister and me on her own, my Mom had to balance raising us while supporting our family. She said that she too felt guilty working long hours and being away from home – but she was on a “mission” to give us the best life possible. That mission drove her to raise her two daughters, excel in her career, and be a pillar in our community with all her energy and heart. Now when I do have to leave Baby Aadhav, I tell myself I am on a mission – to give my baby the best life possible. Whether I am leaving for a meeting, workout, even a quick grocery trip – I tell myself I am on a mission! Now I feel more energy when I am out, get things done quicker, and feel stronger both emotionally and physically. I do still give Baby Aahdav tons of hugs and kisses when I get home but from the smiles and giggles – I don’t think he minds. I put together a list of things have helped me reframe my feelings of “mom guilt”. I  would love to hear your experience dealing with “mom guilt” in the comments section below!

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Style File 1.3

Photo // Expat Living Singapore Street Style Feature!  Photographer Ken Tan 

Life in my third trimester has been full of changes! For the first time since February, I am feeling a lot more tired. By 9 pm each night, I am exhausted. Also – my hands and feet are constantly swollen, which make everyday tasks a lot more tough. Through the changes in my body, I am learning I need to slow down. Working in a startup is demanding and I’m trying to balance my blogging commitments as well. Over the last month, you may have noticed some issues with the format on the blog. About a month ago, there was a tiny formatting glitch which snowballed into my site completely going down! Since then, I’ve continued to have more issues, where I have to call my hosting provider during US business hours. As a result, I’ve spent many nights on the phone till midnight trying to get things sorted out. So far the site is back to normal, but I may have issues with updates I’ve been wanting to make. Thank you for your patience as I try to get the site back to normal. Also – I really appreciate your suggestions on article topics! Insta stories has been a great way to connect with you and hear what you are interested in. Keep the ideas coming. I am starting to work on posts in advance for when the baby comes and love hearing your ideas.

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